Bottle of Wine on a Tuesday

I have decided I will never understand “love”. I want to love another, by every meaning of the word. I try so hard to love others. I meet someone I think I really care about and I give it my all. In the end, they fuck me in the ass (literally and figuratively).

So what is love? Is it passion, devotion, respect, trust. I was once told it was the combination. But how can one have ALL of those feelings for another person? It seems impossible. The perfect person.

By emotional means I love you. By physical means, I need you. My neurologic hormone flux pulls me to you. But mentally? You fuck me up. I want to love you and you pull away. I need you but can have you only on your time. Support is subjective and as you see fit. I want normal. You want normal. Neither of us are normal. We fake a “normal” relationship that will never be. Because we love one another.

What is love. What does that mean? Do you love me?


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