Love and pain are synonymous. When I was younger, I would have never believed this fact, this fact known to anyone who has ever loved. But now that I know, I wish I did not know. Because pain is pain, no matter the pleasures of love. Pain hurts.
I kick myself because a lot of this was avoidable- I knew the risks at the start. The foreshadowing was on par. And yet, like a fool, I ignored the risks. I told myself I wouldn’t fall but boy, did I ever fall. I fell hard. The fall really hurts.
It feels so natural. And yet so surreal. To be with him. Why would someone like him want to be with me? Is it real? Does he actually care, or is he playing me? Am I just a hot “piece of ass”? I guess I won’t ever know.
“It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live”. I must keep reminding myself this.